CRYMEARIVER.ORG

Lookin Bro' Music Video

2009-09-17T15:00:00Z

Philip Rivers Does The Impossible...Gets OutClassed By the Raiders

2009-09-15T15:42:00Z

Sorry for the poor quality video, for the better version click here and fast forward to the 2:00 mark and enjoy.

When this season started, I was kinda worried. I thought we might have to wait a few games to see Rivers throw one of his little temper tantrums but it only took 3 quarters into this new season for him to show what a little bitch he still is......and in doing so he accomploished the impossible.....he got outclassed by the Oakland Raiders. Of course Rivers waits until Gerard Warren is laying on this stomach to starting yelling at him and throw the ball down at his face. These are the only situations you ever see Rivers playing the tough guy. Of course Rivers isn't looking for a fair fight, Gerard Warren is 6-4, 330 lbs and would beat Philip Rivers like a red headed step child......or should I say beat him like Shawne Merriman beats asian reality show stars.

Sure, the Chargers won this game....but barely. The Raiders are one of the worst teams in football and they gave the Chargers a run for their money. And where is last years top rated passer ranked after the 1st week???? How about #19 with a passer ratting of 84.5.

Shawne "Lights Out" Merriman Beats Up Tila Tequila

2009-09-08T15:00:00Z

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Shawne Merriman, a star linebacker with the NFL's San Diego Chargers, was arrested on Sunday after a woman described as his girlfriend accused him of choking and restraining her, San Diego police said.

Tila Nguyen, a singer and TV personality under the name Tila Tequila, called police early on Sunday, the San Diego Sheriff's Department said in a statement. She was identified as Merriman's girlfriend in media reports.

Tequila said the incident occurred when she tried to leave his residence. She signed a citizen's arrest charging him with battery and false imprisonment, police said.

Merriman, 25, was taken into custody and later released on bail. Tequila was taken to a hospital. Her condition was not immediately available. (Source: The Washington Post)

Well I guess we now know where Shawne Merriman got his nickname "Lights Out" from. I feel semi cheated out of my childhood for not having role models like this when I was growing up. First this guy gets busted for steriods, then he beats the crap out of a reality show star. I can't wait to see what comes next. I'm just wondering why, if Merriman wanted to beat up some whiney, talentless little bitch that he didn't just go knock out his own Quarterback????

My Other Pussy

2009-08-28T18:02:00Z

Google Is Racist

2009-08-26T17:54:00Z

Brett Favre: Drama Queen

2009-08-25T17:29:00Z

Malaysia delays caning of woman who drank beer

2009-08-24T14:43:00Z

KARAI, Malaysia – Malaysia abruptly granted a Ramadan reprieve to the first Muslim Malay woman to be sentenced to caning for drinking beer, but insisted Monday the thrashing would still take place after the Islamic holy month of fasting.

Kartika was arrested in a raid for drinking beer at a hotel lounge in December 2007 and accused of breaching Malaysia's Shariah law, which forbids Muslims from consuming alcohol.

The law provides for a three-year prison term and caning for Muslims caught drinking, but most offenders are fined. Drinking is legal for non-Muslims.

Kartika was sentenced to six strokes of a rattan cane by the Shariah court in July in what was considered a warning to other Muslims to abide by religious laws. (Source: Yahoo News)

So if women in Malaysia aren't allowed to drink.....how are Malaysian men supposed to get laid??????

Chad Ochocinco the kicker

2009-08-21T14:47:00Z

Child Please!

Plaxico pleads guilty, gets 2 years' prison

2009-08-20T15:32:00Z

NEW YORK -- Former New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress pleaded guilty Thursday to a weapons charge and agreed to a two-year prison term for accidentally shooting himself at a Manhattan nightclub.

Burress pleaded guilty to one count of attempted criminal possession of a weapon, a lesser charge than he initially faced. Under a plea agreement, he agreed to a two-year prison sentence and two years of supervised release.

Burress was indicted earlier this month on two counts of criminal possession of a weapon and one count of reckless endangerment. He faced a minimum sentence of 3½ years if convicted at a trial. (Source: ESPN)

So Donte Stallworth kills someone and does less than 30 days in jail and Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg and gets 2 years in jail????? I think someone needs a better lawyer.

Ga. couple killed by pack of wild dogs near home

2009-08-19T17:26:00Z

LEXINGTON, Ga. — Sherry Schweder worried about a group of mixed-breed dogs she saw wandering near her home, a pack that authorities say mauled her and her husband to death along a rural road in northeast Georgia.

The 65-year-old animal lover was taking an evening stroll last week when she was attacked by the feral dogs, authorities believe. Her husband, Lothar Schweder, a retired professor, fell victim to the pack when he went out looking for her.

A shredded piece of shirt, some strands of hair and bloodstained dirt were all that remained Tuesday where the couple was killed. Paramedics who came to the grisly scene Saturday morning found the suspected attackers standing guard. While it's unclear exactly what happened because there were no witnesses, officials have rounded up 16 dogs they believe were involved. (Source: AP)

VS.
(This is an actual picture of one of the dogs)

Where is Michael Vick when you need him????? And this happened in Georgia of all places, where Vick's football team played. If we hadn't locked him up for some friendly dog fighting, he probably would have been wandering around Georgia and already killed this pack of wild dogs. To Vick's credit, he only shot, drowned and electrocuted his dogs, he never ate them alive...which is more than I can say about this wild pack of dogs. They make Vick look like a humanitarian.

Source: Favre to sign with Vikings

2009-08-18T15:44:00Z

A source close to Brett Favre said the quarterback, pending a physical, will sign a contract with the Minnesota Vikings for between $10 million to $12 million, according to ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen. (Source: ESPN)

When will this guy finally get a clue that he is old and he sucks and that he should just retire so our long national nightmare can be over???? I can't wait until half way through the season when Favre leads the league in interceptions, his team isn't in playoff contention and there are reports of him ruining the locker room atmosphere. Then we can all laugh at the Vikings for wasting their season and $12 million dollars on a drama queen.

The Cable Guy: Raiders Coach Tom Cable Punched Assistant During Altercation

2009-08-18T14:57:00Z

Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Cable punched defensive assistant Randy Hanson in the jaw during an Aug. 5 altercation at the team's training camp headquarters at the Napa Valley Marriott, multiple sources told FanHouse.

National Football Post first reported Monday that Hanson, a third-year assistant who is in his first season with the team under the title "assistant coach-defense," had been hit by another member of the coaching staff, but did not specify the attacker.

Two NFL sources have confirmed to FanHouse that the assailant was Cable and "that Hanson never saw it coming." (Source: Fanhouse)

Lets be honest, this could have happened to any team in the NFL but it is always that much more entertaining when it happens to the Raiders. So your last coach refused to leave even months after being fired and your new coach sucker punches an assistant coach in the face and break his jaw. Hopefully this will lead to one of my life long dreams coming true and Al Davis fires Cable and takes over the head coaching job him self. They can prop him up like Weekend At Bernie's on the sideline and let him call plays. Check out the exclusive video below of Cable's fight (OK, it's not his fight but its the only other Cable Guy fight clip I could find).

Michael Vick Finds a team & Rush Limbaugh is outraged

2009-08-14T14:57:00Z

Quarterback Michael Vick has signed a two-year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles, his agent, Joel Segal, confirmed to ESPN.com.

Vick arrived in Philadelphia Tuesday morning and remained there Wednesday evening. The Eagles will hold a news conference on Friday morning to announce his signing. The first year of the deal is for $1.6 million with an option for the second year at $5.2 million, sources told ESPN's Chris Mortensen. Vick can also earn an additional $3 million in incentives over the two years of the contract, sources told ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli.

Vick was the No. 1 draft pick in 2001 by the Atlanta Falcons and once the highest-paid player in football. But he has not played since 2006 when his career came tumbling down. He was convicted in August 2007 of conspiracy and running a dogfighting operation, sentenced to 23 months in federal prison and suspended indefinitely by the NFL. (Source: ESPN.com)

With Michael Vick & Donovan McNabb, the Eagles now have two black QB's and one of them is an ex-con who just got out of jail. This is officially Rush Limbaugh's worst nightmare. We all remember Rush's comments a few years ago about McNabb.....

"Sorry to say this, I don't think he's been that good from the get-go," Limbaugh said. "I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team."

Philip Rivers wants $$$

2009-08-13T15:08:00Z

Kevin Acee of the San Diego Union-Tribune speculated in the wake of the record-setting contract between the Giants and quarterback Eli Manning that the long-awaited deal could prompt the opening of negotiations between the Chargers and quarterback Philip Rivers.

A league source tells us that Rivers and agent Jimmy Sexton were intentionally waiting for the Manning deal to get done before launching talks with the Chargers, and that discussions will begin shortly -- and possibly already have started.

And so Manning and Rivers, who were swapped for each other during round one of the 2004 draft, continue to be linked. Given that Rivers boasts a career passer rating nearly 17 points higher than Eli's, look for Rivers and Sexton to try to come away from the bargaining table with even more money. (Source: Profootballtalk.com)

So let me get this straight. Eli Manning just became the highest paid player in football and now Rivers wants even more money than that?? It's pretty ironic since the two were traded for each other on draft day because Manning didn't want to play for the Chargers. Now I'm no fan of the retarded Manning brother but I still think he should get paid more than Rivers.

Let's take a look at what they have both accomplished. Eli has had success in one of the best divisions in football. Rivers has had limited success in the worst division in football which is packed with criminals (Raiders), slackers (Broncos) and mongoloids (Chiefs).

Eli has won a Super Bowl. River's chokes in the playoffs every year.

Eli has never had a problem with fans or teammates. River's bitches to the media, bitches at his teammates and yells at fans from the sidelines then challenges drunk out of shape fans to fights while he is wearing full pads and a helmet and protected by security at the game.

drug enforcement agency

2009-08-12T19:13:00Z

Fucking with Craigslist Bike Scam Guy

2009-08-11T14:53:00Z

Ok, so here is the deal. I went on craigslist to try to find a bike. I came across the ad below and it seemed like an awesome deal (The bike was originally $2,000+) So I emailed the person. You see the conversation below. (Read)

Kyle P: Hi,

I am inquiring about your Marin Quad XC "Mount Vision" bike (Posting ID: 1308943079) that you have for sale on craigslist. Would you be willing to take $725 cash for the bike? I would be able to meet on Sunday to take a look at the bike if you are available.

Thanks

Susan Hernandez:
hi,ok but I am sorry, I am now out of the town with business,so if you want we can arrange the deal via eBay,i will email eBay to create an invoice for payment and shiping details,the transaction is insured and secured,so let me know,thanx

Kyle P:
Thank you for the response. If you don't mind, I would prefer to see the bike in person before I purchase, and it would save the trouble of shipping for me to pick up since I am local (Pleasanton). Would you mind if we waited until you return? As I said below, I can pay in cash.

Susan Hernandez:
i will be back after dec,and i want to sell the product until then,so the only way will be via eBay,also i have refund options,and the shipping is free and insured ,so let me know,thanx

Kyle P:
Could you please provide additional pictures? I would like to see the condition of the bike before I decide. Thanks.

Susan Hernandez:
yes i have attached the pix to you,so let me know,thanx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So obviously there is something a little off. The person a) somehow lost the professional, legible writing and now types like a middle school girl b) they want for the transaction to take place on ebay and even better, ship a bicycle from Fairfield/Vacaville to Pleasanton. This is only a 45 min drive. c) I cannot see the bike other than the pictures provided, because the person is out of town until December. (Are they traveling with the thing?)

To make things more interesting, I later found this posting from the day prior. The price somehow dropped from $1,800 to $830 in one day. Oh and now you need to contact Kris…..

Kyle P:
Thank you for the images. Since I am not able to see the bike in person could you answer a couple of questions for me?
What weight capacity does the bike hold? The reason I would like to purchase this bike is because I am on The larger side. I've been bedridden for the past 6 years, but I found new hope after watching a subway commercial.

Is the seat made of a hard polyurethane plastic? I am afraid my bed sores may fuse to the seat if it has any synthetic leather material.

Hopefully the bike will be able to accomidate my special needs. I will be setting up my eBay account this afternoon so we can complete this transaction asap.
Thanks!

Susan Hernandez:
hi,let me know your weight,yes the seat is made of a hard polyurethane plastic ,just let me know your complete shipping address and name,thanx

Kyle P:
That's great! The reason I asked is because a few years back I was moved onto my synthetic leather couch and I needed the fire department to come and cut me free. As you could imagine, I don't want to had to deal with that again!!
As for my size, I weigh somewhere around 600 -700 lbs. I am not really sure, as I mentioned that I have been bedridden for some time now. The last time I was weighed at the local recycling center I came in at 791lbs but I have lost some weight since then on the px90 system. It really looks like a sturdy bike so I would imagine it could hold most of me!

Susan Hernandez:
hi,the weight capacity is around 1400 lbs,so youll never have problems,so let me know,thanx

Kyle P:
Thank you again for the quick response. Unfortunately I am not sure if I will be able to purchase your bike. My mom says she will not pay for it. she has never supported me in anything. She wants me to stay this way and treats me like a child. I often catch her trying to sneak her breast milk into my cereal. I'm 24 years old!! I do have some money saved up from the traveling circus acts I performed in as a child but it is not the $725 as we agreed upon. Would you consider lowering the price?

Susan Hernandez:
Let me know your offer price,thanx

Kyle P:
I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. My mom took my computer away from me. But I am still very interested in your bike. She still wants to know more information about you. She is really paranoid and does not trust you. But I do. So if she tries to contact you please ignore her. She is crazy.

Like I said I am still very interested and and I think we could work something out. I hate to bring you into the middle of my problems but this bicycle is my only way to escape my mothers wrath.

Is this what cyber sex has come to?

2009-08-07T18:01:00Z

This random person sent me a message on Yahoo Chat and the following conversation occurred......

(Note: Everyone keeps asking me if this really happened.....Yes, of course it did.)

----- Our chat on Fri, 8/7/09 10:56 AM -----
Aureliancpso31 (10:32 AM): hey there cutie? ? ?

Kevin (10:32 AM): who is this?

Aureliancpso31 (10:33 AM): who is this again? Sorry I don't recognize the name lol

Aureliancpso31 (10:33 AM): Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin? ?

Kevin (10:33 AM): huh

Aureliancpso31 (10:33 AM): I'm actually working right now what are you doing exactly? ?

Kevin (10:33 AM): are you retarded?

Aureliancpso31 (10:34 AM): nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It's pretty fun actually lol

Kevin (10:34 AM): are you the girl that fucked a horse?

Aureliancpso31 (10:34 AM): I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ? ?

Kevin (10:34 AM): is there donkey sex involved?

Aureliancpso31 (10:34 AM): when was the last time you had any

Kevin (10:35 AM): donkey sex? last night

Kevin (10:35 AM): you?

Aureliancpso31 (10:35 AM): how big are you?

Kevin (10:35 AM): about 5 ft 9

Aureliancpso31 (10:35 AM): well I think i have my free friend's pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it? ?

Kevin (10:36 AM): i'm only into beastiality

Kevin (10:36 AM): is there any of that on the free pass?

Aureliancpso31 (10:36 AM): are you busy?

Aureliancpso31 (10:36 AM): yes its free

Kevin (10:36 AM): i gotta take my donkey to the vet

Kevin (10:37 AM): but after that i'm free

Aureliancpso31 (10:37 AM): yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don't tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i'll let you pick! LOL

Aureliancpso31 (10:37 AM): yes its free

Kevin (10:37 AM): no panties....can you just wrap yourself in a rubber hose instead?

Aureliancpso31 (10:37 AM): k lol .. You joining me ?

Kevin (10:38 AM): ya

Kevin (10:38 AM): whats your horses's name?

Aureliancpso31 (10:38 AM): Ok, go to http://myhomeca mnetwork.com/SUN NY scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: "mom" okay?

Aureliancpso31 (10:38 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:38 AM): and your horses name?

Aureliancpso31 (10:38 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:38 AM): ya, you just said that

Aureliancpso31 (10:39 AM): yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b- day k?

Kevin (10:39 AM): what is the name of the horse you are having sex with? I want to see if i know him

Aureliancpso31 (10:39 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:39 AM): are you mentally disabled?

Kevin (10:39 AM): wait, what is your name?

Aureliancpso31 (10:40 AM): k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend's pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges

Kevin (10:40 AM): and what do your firends call you?

Aureliancpso31 (10:40 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:40 AM): 1 more time please

Kevin (10:40 AM): your name? and what your firends call you

Aureliancpso31 (10:40 AM): CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend's pass

Aureliancpso31 (10:40 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:40 AM): is your name Jessica?

Aureliancpso31 (10:41 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:41 AM): Let me guess again, is your name Maria?

Aureliancpso31 (10:41 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:41 AM): Hmmm, i'm never gonna guess this one right

Aureliancpso31 (10:41 AM): ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.

Kevin (10:42 AM): 1st tell me your real name

Aureliancpso31 (10:42 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:42 AM): and what do your firends call you?

Aureliancpso31 (10:42 AM): k, you in yet babe? ? Don't keep me waiting!

Kevin (10:42 AM): 1st you have to tell me your real name

Aureliancpso31 (10:43 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:43 AM): so your gonna make me guess your name again?

Aureliancpso31 (10:44 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:44 AM): hmm, is your name Retarded Whore Horse Fucker? ? ?

Aureliancpso31 (10:44 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:45 AM): too bad, i would only watch if there were whores

Aureliancpso31 (10:45 AM): k

Kevin (10:45 AM): so are you a whore?

Aureliancpso31 (10:45 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:45 AM): wait, is there a whore here?

Aureliancpso31 (10:46 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:46 AM): where is a whore then?

Aureliancpso31 (10:46 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:46 AM): i don't believe you..... whore

Aureliancpso31 (10:46 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:46 AM): wait, what is your name?

Aureliancpso31 (10:47 AM): Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

Kevin (10:47 AM): oh ya, your that whore

Aureliancpso31 (10:47 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:47 AM): i'm pretty sure there are

Aureliancpso31 (10:48 AM): k when u login click LIVEWEBCAMS and I'm the girl on the top row farthest to the left. There's a chat there so I'll see u there babe ... maybe u tell me what to do

Kevin (10:48 AM): i'll tell you what to do, how about stop being a whore

Aureliancpso31 (10:48 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:49 AM): do you have a picture i can see of you, i wanna put this on my blog

Aureliancpso31 (10:49 AM): im naked and turned on only for you baby! if you cannot sign up on my first site, please click this link: http://tinyurl.com/BARBIEDOLL and when you see the secret code box put in: adminpass09

Kevin (10:49 AM): thats not what i was looking for whore

Aureliancpso31 (10:50 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:50 AM): where the whore's at?

Aureliancpso31 (10:50 AM): there's no whores here!

Kevin (10:50 AM): can i shit in your mouth?

Aureliancpso31 (10:50 AM): what's wrong?

Kevin (10:51 AM): there is something wrong with that request? pretty standard as far as i'm concerned

Aureliancpso31 (10:51 AM): k

Kevin (10:51 AM): can you take a dump on your webcam for me?

Aureliancpso31 (10:51 AM): agrhhh! im still sooo lonely and horny waiting for you baby, come see me! go to http://myhomecamnetwork.com/SUNNY scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of JUST ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: "mom" okay?

Kevin (10:54 AM): alright, i'm bored now

Aureliancpso31 (10:55 AM):

Kevin (10:55 AM): well you suck

Kevin (10:55 AM): and just keep repeating the same thing over and over again

"Smoking-ban murder"

2009-08-06T15:16:00Z

ISTANBUL (Reuters) – A restaurant owner in southwest Turkey was shot dead after he tried to prevent his customers from smoking to comply with a new law on the use of tobacco indoors, Hurriyet daily said on Thursday.

A fight broke out after Hidir Karayigit, 46, ordered a group of customers to extinguish their cigarettes when they began smoking at his "meyhane," a traditional restaurant that serves alcohol, in the town of Saruhanli, Hurriyet said.

One of the customers shot Karayigit four times after he took away the group's cigarettes, said witness Hamza Havutcu, Karayigit's business partner who was also shot and wounded.

Turkey's government on July 19 introduced a nationwide ban on indoor smoking, including bars and restaurants, despite the fact that half of Turks aged between the ages of 15 and 49 smoke; one of the highest rates in the world.

"I'm deeply saddened that the first smoking-ban murder occurred in our town," Saruhanli Mayor Veli Yalcin told Hurriyet. "They either shouldn't have outlawed smoking or they should have outlawed alcohol along with smoking." (Source: Yahoo News)

I'm saddened too, I thought Turkey was the last cool place I could go and party...obviously not. I guess I'll just have to resort to places like Somalia where No rules apply, oh, and Outback Steakhouse.

Fans urged to drink whisky to ward off swine flu

2009-08-05T14:45:00Z

MOSCOW (Reuters) – Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB said Monday.

"We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.

"That should cure all symptoms of the disease." (Source: Yahoo News)

Like the Russians don't drink enough?

Brilliant Woman Solves All of California's Problems

2009-07-30T20:40:00Z

Which brings me to my next point kids.....Don't smoke Crack!